A Cabbit's Chronicle
by GabrielsThoughts
Summary: Ranma falls into a different spring at Jusenkyo, and finds himself in a living nightmare. will combine elements of Tenchi and Pretty Sammy
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma or any part of the tenchi franchise. If I did do you honestly think I'd be writing fan fiction? I am not an English major, don't expect perfect grammatical prose , in fact you might want to expect the frequent use of sentence fragments and ellipses… because that is how I write.

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A Cabbit's Chronicle

Written by Gabriel R. Lopez

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Tsunami was late. Today was the day the council would choose the next queen of Juraihelm and she was late. Oh poo. Ramia must have sabotaged her alarm clock when she came over for tea, that bitch! …oh well, she probably wouldn't be selected for queen anyway, and being five minutes late was about the same as being thirty minutes late. That meant she had time for more important things like flower arrangement, and the internet… "and I would have had the prettiest pink dictatorship too." Tsunami thought a loud as she joyfully watered the flowers in her garden. After that she made waffles, and fantasized about happy peanuts soaring over chocolate covered mountain tops, and waterfalls of caramel. 

Tsunami was awaken by the royal guard, her face in the plate of waffles and syrup laced with GHB. It was clear Ramia really wanted to be queen, honestly going through that much trouble to stop Tsunami from reaching the palace in time to make their final decision. Thankfully the council anticipated this sort of thing, after allowing Tsunami to recover …which took the sum total of an hour or more. Tsunami was rushed to the palace, and she entered the council chamber casually flipping her hair over shoulder.

Ramia had been impatiently waiting for the last two hours, for a time her only competition was that Roombah girl who no one cared about. When Tsunami arrived she was in shock… mockingly she asked what Tsunami had been up too.

"Oh I was watering my flowers" Tsunami then thought about confronting Ramia, but thought better of it...

The head of the council cleared his throat. "as you all know the queen died last year and now the council needs a new puppet to stand before the throne and look pretty, while we…the members of the Juraihelm council, do all manner of wicked deeds from behind the shadows." of course this isn't exactly what was said but what the council was thinking "Roombah, step forward."

The girl to the left of Tsunami stepped forward obediently.

"As queen of Juraihelm what would you do to improve the quality of life for our citizens?"

"I suppose I would continue the humanitarian work of our previous queen" Roombah replied. The council murmured amongst themselves.

"Thank you Roombah, Ramia Step forward" Ramia stepped forward. "As queen of Juraihelm what would you do to improve the quality of life for our citizens?"

"I'm glad you asked." A giant view screen appeared out of nowhere. " I noticed a severe lack of social programs for children and families, and so if we offer subsidies for families that have lots of babies, and if there were more tax breaks for the rich, there would be less homeless, because the money would trickle down to homeless children in poor nations, and I think we should instate corporal punishment for the parents of families that get a divorced, and we need free universal health care for children under the age of -"

"Enough! Tsunami, as queen of Juraihelm what would you do to improve the quality of life for our citizens?"

"um…I'd probably just plant flowers everywhere, and have I mentioned how much I love puppies and world peace?"

The council murmered… "Tsunami, congratulations, you are the new queen of Juraihelm."

"Yippee!" Tsunami squealed in delight.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ramia cried in outrage as she was forcefully escorted out of the council chamber by the royal guard. Lady Roombah left the council chamber quietly and without incident.

"Ok, as queen of Juraihelm you must now venture forth to restore the balance of good and evil in the magical kingdom… in order to do this you must restore the balance of good and evil on another planet first."

"Why is that?" Tsunami asked

"um…practice makes perfect." he said

"But it could take me a whole lifetime to restore the balance of good and evil on another planet, are you sure it wouldn't' be easier to start here and then -"

"Don't Question the authority of the council!"

"ok." Tsunami smiled

"Excellent, you must get started at once. Find a child who is pure of heart and…

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

"Lady Tsunami! Why have- What have you done to me?" Ryo Ohki was shocked as looked over his new body, he appeared to have become some kind of lagomorph.

"I've turned you into a cat. It's a species native to the planet Earth that I read about in the archives, and I'm sending you there to find a little girl who is pure of heart." Tsunami said as she picked up the little cabbit and used her magic to turn him into a round object roughly the size and shape of softball.

"But why c-cant I go to earth in my original body?" Ryo Ohki asked as tears welled up in his eyes.

Tsunami thought about it for a moment, turning someone she thought of as her little brother into a weak defenseless animal and sending him to an alien world was excessively cruel… oh well, "Good Luck!" She cried as she tossed Poor Ryo Ohki out of the airlock of the spaceship. According to her calculations he would probably land somewhere in China…she knew the girl was on earth somewhere and China was as good a place as any to start looking as any.

6 YEARS LATER…

"Sploosh!"

"Aiyah! Young Mister customer fall into spring of drowned Girl, tragic story of…oh sorry, my mistake, it spring of drowned cat humping a rabbit, is tragic story of forbidden romance between cat and rabbit that drown 1500 year ago."

"WHAT!" Ranma, the neo cabbit cried in outrage after his kitten sized body struggled to crawl out of the spring. with the mop of hair and water clogging up his ears he only heard part of the conversation.

an angry panda bear glared at the guide...then magically produced a sign which read "you're kidding, right?"

"not first time springs mix animal, there spring of drown Yeti riding a bull carrying eel just over there."

Genma flipped the sign "is there a cure?"

"sure hot water make you normal, but cold water change you back. Come to my hut I fix you up. Then we go to amazon village for snoo snoo fun yes."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the right's to any anime yet, but I am working on it and I can hope to eventually own an entire anime franchise and fan-fiction dot net in five years…although we both know that isn't true.

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A Cabbit Chronicle

By Gabriel's Thoughts

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Sasami Kawaii, ten years old, could have stopped to watch the afternoon rain shower softly ripple across the puddles in the road. She chose not too, it was the last day of summer and it was the day her half brother Tenchi was going to return from living and working at their grandfather's shrine. A magical place where 700 years ago a great samurai warrior named Yosho sealed a demon named Ryoko, and it was the place where a sacred tree took root. It is said that the tree can grant wishes, and whenever she visited Tenchi she would always take the opportunity to stop at the tree and wish for a friend. Last year, her best friend Misao died tragically when a drunk driver ran off the road, leaving Sasami all alone …and it was more tragic because the drunk driver was her father. 

After the accident Sassami was all alone, Her mother was a flake, Tenchi was kind, but there were times that he would ignore her. Sasami would hang out with Mihoshi and Kiyone occasionally, but they were employees of her mom's record store, and Sasami often thought that Mihoshi was mocking her. Kiyone was nice, but she was crazy, certifiably so. In fact, Kiyone had spent a week in a mental institution because she thought she was a Galaxy police officer for something called the Juraian empire. They eventually let her out because she wasn't really a danger to anybody, and the meds made her a little bubble headed like Mihoshi.

Hopefully the sacred tree would grant her wish soon, Sasami had knealed and prayed for a best friend every night since the funerals, and at this point she would settle for a cat or a rabbit or anything that could acknowledge her existence. Sasami rushed home as the steady downfall of rain grew colder, and heavier. She got home expecting to give Tenchi a big hug…what she saw when she got there was a strange old man with a bandanna in a training Gi, and a boy no older than Tenchi dressed like a carnival monkey with a red silk shirt and black pants. It was then she saw Tenchi, he looked pale, as if he'd seen a ghost.

"TENCHI!" Sasami Cheered as she rushed to hug him, he didn't really hug back. Sasami looked at her mom, who had a sad look on her face.

"Sasami, this is Mr. Saotome, a friend of your fathers."

"Hello, young Sasami my name is Genma, your late father Nobuyuki and I trained under the same master. I am here to fulfill the pact we made to join the two schools of anything goes."

" WHAT!" was a collective response from Tenchi, Ranma, and Mrs.Kawaii. Ranma thought it was suspicious that Genma would go out of his way to visit a friend.

"I ain't marrying no girl!" Ranma Shouted

"My Sasami is too young!" Chihiro yelled while Tenchi and Ranma argued in the background

"What kind of pervert are you!" Tenchi confronted Ranma

"hey I ain't no pervert, the old man is the pedofile not me." Ranma Spat back.

"ENOUGH!" Genma, in a rare display of bravado caused the room to fall silent. "seeing as the bride to be is only ten years old, she and Ranma are only to be engaged."

"wait a second, how do we even know you knew father?"

"Tenchi, don't." Chihiro tried to stop Tenchi from learning a potentially damaging family secret.

"boy, take your fiance into the other room." Genma ordered.

"why?" Ranma asked.

" Ranma, you and Sasami are to young to hear what I'm about to say." Genma answered.

"Hey I ain't no baby." in fact, this was true as Ranma was only two months younger than Tenchi.

"If you don't go I won't teach you the Saotome forbidden techniques of anything goes." Genma continued.

"Fine yah big jerk, c'mon shrimp, we know where we're not wanted." Ranma stuck out his tongue at Genma.

Genma glanced back once to make sure Ranma wasn't peeking from around the corner. " ok I think it's safe Chihiro."

"So can you prove you knew my father or what?" Tenchi asked.

Genma fished a video cassette out of his backpack "Your father had me make this video on your... his wedding day, I think he would have wanted you to see this when you were older, but concidering you are an orphan, and there isn't anything worse that could possibly happen to you..."

"That doesn't prove anything, Dad videotaped lots of things, you could have snuck in and-"

"Let me rephrase that, your father trusted me enough to make a video of the wedding night." Genma stated, Chihiro became deflated, that definitely sounded like something Nobuyuki would do. Chihiro still had a laser disk copy of their wedding night laying in the attic somewhere collecting dust.

"so what's the big deal?" Tenchi asked. As Genma shoved the tape into the VCR and hit play…

Ten seconds later…

"oh god, why would you show me that! " Tenchi asked as he covered his eyes.

"Oh, Nobuyuki...Yes, oh god yes!"

"TURN IT OFF!!!" Tenchi and Chihiro cried in unison.

Tenchi knew his father was a super pervert when he inherited six boxes of rubbers and a collection of playboys, but the thought of him actually doing "it" was something he had never stopped to consider.

Meanwhile Ranma and Sasami were eating peanut butter sandwiches in the kitchen. "Stupid Jerk, thinks he can treat me like a baby." Ranma mumbled as he took a sip of orange juice from an Italian glass. The sound of the heavy downpour outside momentarily drowned out his thoughts of anger "I ain't marying you!" Ranma yelled.

Sasami was worried, she had asked for a friend not a fiance, not to mention this was going to make it very difficult for her to have a boyfriend in the future.

There was a flash of lightning and Ranma could have sworn he saw a monster woman with cyan hair, a tail, and yellow c-cat like eyes staring at him through the double glass doors in the kitchen. Ranma almost choked on his sandwich as the demon waved at him joyfully before she disappeared.

"what's the matter Ranma? you look like you've seen a ghost." Sasami noticed that ranma looked as if someone walked over his grave.

"N-nothing, I ju- just thought I saw a c-cat, yeah just a a c-c- one of those things." Ranma dismissed the woman as a figment of his imagination and continued eating his sandwich unaware of the creature lurking in the shadows."

Genma was placed in a Guest bedroom, and Ranma was to share Tenchi's room until they got an apartment, of course from what Nobuyuki had told her about his old friend, Chihiro knew that Ranma and his father would be their guest's indefinitely. Living in an apartment just above the record store had some disadvantages. Mihoshi had shown up for work earlier than expected, and upon seeing him, mistook Ranma for a burglar. Then Mihoshi grabbed the nearest object, a broom, and started beating Ranma over the head with it. Ranma eventually tripped over a bucket of water that had been left out over night. This of course transformed him into his cabbit form, which caused Mihoshi to beat him that much harder with the broom, as Ranma ran away from the deranged blond as fast as his little legs could take him.

All the commotion had awakened everyone else, including Sasami who wandered into the room half asleep. Ranma took advantage of this newly found human shield and hid behind Sasami as Mihoshi stopped herself from inflicting a final blow. To say Chihiro was shocked to see Mihoshi about to whack her daughter over the head was an understatement.

"What the heck is going on?" Tenchi whined.

"There was a robber, and he turned into a fuzzy cat like thing and then-"

Ranma hopped into view from behind Sasami, "um…Hi, I'm Ranma Saotome Sorry about this."

After the stereotypical curse explanation which no one cares about anymore, because if you're reading this, then you've already heard, read, or seen it more than a thousand times. So boring and cliché was the conversation, that even the author wasn't listening and just typed out random snippets of dialogue .

"I'll need warmed tea kettle of water, and a large pitcher of ice water."

Insert standard explanation of how the curse operates…

" hot not boiling! Blah blah"

"blah blah bla, blah blah training grounds Jusenkeyo"

"blah bla, each spring has a tragic story, blah blah bla"

"blah blah, stupid old man bla blah Jerk Bla blah blah, Couldn't read a word of Chinese"

Blah bla bla Martial artist's life is fraught with peril bla bla bla"

"bla blah blah my life yes, not my manhood blah! blah blah."

"if you're going to whine like an animal why don't you become one" Genma then dumped the remainder of the water in the pitcher on Ranma. His body immediately transformed into a small Cabbit.

"JERK!" Ranma cried out in outrage with a girly voice that sounded eerily similar to Sasami's.

"Do you see what an ungrateful child I have? Oh to have such a disrespectful- GAH!" Genma yelped as Ranma chomped his ankle...it was more of a light nip than anything, but Genma would play the victimised father either way.

"Ungrateful? This from the man who fell into the spring of drowned honorless monk disguised as panda, blah blah, tragic story of perverted monk Miroku who fall in spring of drown panda, then rubbed the buttox of every woman in the nearby Amazon village, now who ever fall in spring have automatic death warrant from amazon village… Blah! Bla bla ate the prize blah blah blah, fought MuTsu bla bla Nyannichuan spring bla bla Jusenkeyo Blah bla blah Yaoi kiss of death Bla blah blah, and now the Amazon's want to kill me too just 'cause I was with him!"

"boy, don't make me take you to the veterinarian!" Genma violently reached for the small cabbit, but Ranma dodged and weaved his way through Genma's legs and found himself hidden safely under the couch.

"You'll never take me alive!" Ranma cried triumphantly."

"I don't get it. What's so scary about the vetrinarian's office?" Sasami asked.

Ranma Poked his head out from under the sofa. "The thermometers are really cold!" Genma then reached out to grab Ranma by his ears "EEP!" Ranma cried out in pain as Genma pulled him eye level.

"Listen up boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out! "

"MR. SAOTOME! I will not tolerate abuse in this household." Chihiro ordered sternly, Genma metaphorically transformed into the spineless guppy he was dropped Ranma to the floor…

" Yeah. Quit hurting Ranma you big bully!" Sasami chimed in, Tenchi stood silently and didn't say anything, because he was a wimp. In fact, Tenchi was secretly hoping Mr.Saotome and his son would just leave. Ranma was hurt bad. Between the beating Mihoshi had given him and the additional injuries incurred during his father's stupidity moments later, Ranma ached in every part of his body and for lack of a etter description felt a hundred years old.

Later, at school… Tenchi watched as Ranma entered the classroom. Miss Mizuho smiled and introduced him to the class

Class, this is Ranma. He has recently returned to Japan after spending three years in china let's give him a big Nih- Nihao…niho…um, just take a seat Ranma. My name is Mizuho Kazami, and today we're going to learn about the Edo period. A time when men were men, and women knew it. If you would all open your books to page 615... Kei would you mind sharing you book with Ranma.

"sure thing Miss Mizuho."

A/N: a message to all flamers, Get a F(BLEEEP)king Clue, Destruction is only a form of creation if you actually CREATE in the process, otherwise you are doing nothing more than making an ass of yourself.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 3**

By Gabriel R. Lopez

The school day was mostly uneventful for everyone except Ranma… in fact, if the day was a vacuum cleaner it would have sucked out loud. Ranma was turned into a cabbit when the overcast sky decided that today was as good a day as any to have a lite autumn shower. Ranma, having turned into something small, adorable, fuzzy, and cute, went unnoticed as the the students flocked into the school. And, Tenchi had assumed Ranma had done likewise. Sadly, for Ranma at least, it was also that moment a softball clonked Ranma on the head. Technically, it was a baseball but the difference in size between Ranma-ohki's current form and the ball was negligible. Ranma Clutched his head and let out a wail of pain…a loud foreign mew of pain which scared Ranma half to death. As he struggled to get out of his shirt. Ranma quickly looked left, and then right searching for the source of the demonic wail. His heart was racing, his body trembling until grasshopper randomly landed on his ear "MIYAH!!!!!" Ranma wailed as he started to run frantically toward the bleachers of the soccer field that bordered the school in an effort to get as far away from the horrific demon as fast as he possibly could. The roar of thunder caused the already paranoid Ranma to leap two feet into the air with a wail before he landed and started hopping the remaining three feet between him and the bleachers that would be his salvation.

Ranma trembled and shivered in what little security the darkness of the bleachers provided as the overcast sky poured cold buckets of water everywhere. Poking his head out of what little protection the bleachers provided as the icy rain drizzled … he momentarily breathed a sigh of relief when he found there were no cats in the immediate area. Unfortunately, his cute wails of terror attracted the attention of Azusa Shiratori. Azusa suffered from attention deficit disorder, and was also a known kleptomaniac, as a general rule she seemed to think anything not bolted was her property. This included, and was certainly not limited to, baseballs, small animals, jewelry, and other shiny objects. Besides, she was late for school anyway, it wouldn't really make much of a difference if she was five minutes late or fifteen.

"No way, a kitty!"

Of course, upon seeing the poor defenseless looking cabbit with a confused expression of fear on its face Azusa's heart melted… holding her umbrella with her left hand, Azusa quickly fished a half eaten box of sugar cookies out of the front pocket of her jacket. "Here kitty kitty" Azusa called as she shook the box of cookies. Unfortunately, this seemed to have the opposite effect as the kitty in question tried in all desperation to escape… and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for the fact that he tripped over his own feet, bumped his head on the safety railing, and then fell three feet biting his tongue in the process. Ranma let out a painful kyuuu sound as he lay on the ground flat on his back.

"eep!" Azusa squealed as she rushed to rescue the fallen cabbit "I'm sorry Charlotte, Azusa didn't mean to hurt you!"

"NYAH!" was Ranma's alarmed response as Azusa quickly picked him off the ground like a sack of flour. Of course after biting his tongue a painful "AHH" had become a sound which resonated through his mind as 'must escape, they're coming to get me.' Ranma almost struggled to free himself from Azusa's grasp, unfortunately he was still recovering from two blows to the head, and hadn't quite figured out how he was going to escape. Silently Ranma-ohki hoped that the little demons whose name must never be spoken would decide that Azusa would provide the better meal.

Ranma-ohki didn't even struggle as Azusa picked him up and he was carted off to the school medical office. The school doctor, one Tofu Ono, was both a licensed chiropractor and veterinary assistant, and was working at the school until he could set up his own practice someplace peaceful, like Nermia.

"What do you want Azusa, I'm quite busy."

"My Charlotte is injured!"

"who?" Dr. Tofu was clueless as to what Azusa was talking about

"Charlotte!, you know Charlotte!" Azusa whined as she grabbed onto the doctor and made the most saddest and cutest puppy dog face she could manage… Her eyes grew the size of dinner plates as water pulled to the corners of her eyes, her curled pigtails fell low, and her normally cheerful face had a sad, sad, frown…

After calming Azusa down the doctor asked her where Charlotte was, Azusa then pulled the small shoe sized cabbit out of the front left pocket of her hoodie. Charlotte's tongue was half sticking out of his mouth , and had the doctor known better, he would have known Azusa had recently placed a bracelet she had stolen from Charlotte Stevens around the battered cabbit's neck. The small creature winced waiting for the other shoe to drop at some point, he knew there was a cat somewhere he could hear it. As the paranoia set in further, his heart raced and his eyes darted, and then the good doctor startled Ranma with one of those annoying feather toys that the demons who should not be named are so fond of. The bastard.

"Miyah!" the scared Ranma cried out, an act which had the effect of causing the cursed martial artist to both scare himself and wet himself, cringing in fear of the impending onslaught of demons that would be sure to kill him soon.

"I think I know what's wrong here." stated the good doctor as he placed a large pink Band-Aid with a pikachu in the center over the spot on Ranma's forehead where the baseball had landed…oh great just what he needed, some emasculating and equally annoying pink Band-Aid that was glued to his forehead and pulling at his hair follicles.

"what's that?" Azusa asked before realizing it was a Band-Aid.

"Charlotte just has a little bump on her noggin, it's nothing to worry about really." The doctor said.

"er?" came the confused response frome Ranma-ohki, who up until this point was quite certain he was male.

"oh, a that's sooo cute, she's trying to talk" Azusa joyfully cheered as she picked up Ranma and kissed his boo boo and squeezed him tightly. This presented a problem. Ranma did not want to be cuddled, he wanted to escape. But, resigned himself to being cuddled until he started purring. Upon realizing that he was the one generating this noise, Ranma panicked, dug his claws into Azusa, and then fell or was dropped to the floor in a manner of seconds.

"myah!" once again the swollen tongue of Ranma's caused a normally passive sound to come out wrong…horribly, horribly, wrong. Within the tenth of a second that the sound was heard, a cabbit shaped hole appeared mysteriously in the door of the medical office.

"Ch-charlotte?" Azusa searched the halls desperately for her widdle Charlotte , at least until the bell rang. Azusa immediately perked up and headed toward class without a second thought.

"yow!" Ranma ohki cried as he tried and failed to remove the offending sticker from his forehead. Ranma had no idea where he was so any descriptions of the location other than "safe" were irrelevant. The swelling of his tongue had gone down enough that the he could make intelligent conversation. Ranma briefly considered transforming back into his human form. This presented not one but two problems. The first being the retrieval of his clothes from the soccer field, the second problem being the distance between him and the nearest source of hot water. Making matters worse, he still had to deal with the stupid bandage on his forehead…


	4. Chapter 4

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 4**

_By Gabriel R. Lopez_

In a deserted location fifty miles south of Osaka and twenty miles east of Paris…or was it Hong Kong a hooded figure wanders. This completely anonymous figure also seems incapable of walking in a straight line. Of course this figure knew who to blame for his sorrows, if Ranma Satome hadn't caused him to fall down that flight of stairs when he rescued Domino from the dog catcher. If Ranma Saotome hadn't stolen his lunch. If Ranma Satome hadn't pushed him out of the way of that speeding eighteen wheeler into that fence pole. If Ranma hadn't ran away from their duel… Ryoga Hibiki wouldn't have had to trail him all the way to Jusenkyo and get cursed. All of Ryoga's problems could be tracked to one source. It wouldn't be long before he discovered the Tendo dojo, the last "T" listed in Genma's little black book. 

Ryoga brushed a stray lock of blonde hair from her forehead and re adjusted her goggles. Ryoga then adjusted her poncho, it looked as if it might rain soon. A cold wind blowed as Ryoga wrapped herself ever so tightly with her poncho. She no longer had her supplies, she had lost them in the fall. she had no money, no shelter, no way to prepare food…this was all Ranma's fault, and she would do everything in her power to make sure Ranma would pay. Ryoga's dark mood deepened into a dull depression as she remembered her ill fated trip to jusenkyo… A green glow rippled off her body as she plotted Ranma's destruction.

Several months earlier…

"Stupid Mushrooms!" Ryoga muttered aloud. This too was Ranma's fault, if he hadn't become lost while trailing Ranma and his father he wouldn't have found that stupid clearing with all those stupid magic mushrooms. Of course, only an idiot would eat wild mushrooms. But, Ryoga had become resistant to most poisons after that nice man painted that seal of the immortal on his belly, now he was hungry. The mushrooms in the valley were the best, Ryoga stuffed himself full of as many of them as he could. Most of the mushrooms were nine to eleven centimeters, and Ryoga gorged on them as if they were chocolate truffles. Ryoga took off his shirt and used it as a pillow on the soft grass of the clearing. It is also a good thing Ryoga didn't have any shame, because anyone else with such a marking on their bellies would have died from embarrassment. 

Later Ryoga approached a series of springs, from a distance he then noticed two sets of footprints along the bank of one of the springs. It was possible he had just missed Ranma by a few hours. Then Ryoga slipped, this was especially bad since he was teetering on the precipice of a cliff. His now overbalanced backpack was dragging him toward one of the springs and then !KER-SPALSH! Had he fallen into the spring a meter to the right, Ryoga would have shared Ranma's fate. Had this unlucky fellow fallen a meter to the left he would never be able to enjoy a meal of sweet and sour pork ever again. Ryoga struggled to free himself. Everything he owned was in that pack, his clothes, his money, his umbrella, the few treasures he had collected over the last four years were now gone. 

Ryoga gasped as she broke the surface of the spring. She coughed as she crawled out of the spring. she paused for a moment and wondered why everything seemed so much bigger… the water was deep, and for the first time in years Ryoga was scared.

"AIYAH! Young traveler fall in spring of drown girl, tragic story of young French maiden who drowned in spring 1500 year ago when she defeat Amazon in beauty contest, now whoever fall in spring become French girl. " said the guide.

Ryoga was in shock upon hearing these words, quickly she rushed to the guide "No mon amie, Say it isn't so!" Ryoga wasn't thinking clearly. She had already lost everything, she couldn't afford to loose her identity also.

One look into the seemingly innocent face of Ryoga and the guide knew what the boy wanted to hear…he wanted to hear the same thing every other jusenkyo victim wanted to know "Yong boy in luck, Curse not so bad. Hot water change you to your original form."

Ryoga beamed with hope "if there is a cure I must have it toot suite!"

After Ryoga's masculinity was restored, the guide took one look at the seemingly young boy. One look at the joyful expression on the face of a child who appeared both orphaned and abandoned, he didn't have the heart to tell Ryoga the cure was only temporary. He was sure the boy would figure it out eventually, just not immediately. He allowed Ryoga to spend the night, gave the poor boy a poncho to protect him from the frequent showers that plague the Jusenkeyo region of china, and gave Ryoga some money. Ryoga just happened to stumble upon Genma's little black book. Which just happened to have a list of 200 families Genma was indebted too. Ryoga recognized a handful of the names as Yakuza, and those were just the ones he recognized from the headlines.

It was decided, Ryoga would work his way through the little black book starting with the Zabuza family and work his way to the first entry in the address book, that of Nobuyki Kawaii.

Two days later, Ryoga regretted her decision to buy the goggles she was wearing instead of the kettle, and came to the realization that the guide was an a-hole. Ryoga had no way of knowing how long she had been female, as both forms were of equal height. Her only clue that she had changed in the night was when she went to the bathroom that morning and something was missing. It didn't take long figure out the trigger for the curse was water...

After several weeks of searching Ryoga had finally made it to the Tendo door … it had been three days since she visited the residence of Tomoe Hotaru and there were only thirty more names in the book. Ryoga was pleased when he discovered Ranma had lived there several days before he arrived, but Tendo patriarch had annulled the marriage contract when it was learned that Ranma had become an animal at jusenkeyo. Soun might have tolerated a girl curse like Ryoga's, but he drew the line at bestiality. Besides, the happiness of his children came before something as silly as a pact made between two friends. That, and he was sick of Genma cheating at Go. 

Fortunately for Ryoga, Genma had been having his bills forwarded to a post office box in Kyoto, unfortunately all Ryoga knew about Kyoto was that it was somewhere south of Tokyo. Ryoga groaned, why did Ranma have to move to such an obscure region of Australia. Unfortunately, Genma had no intention of paying off his bills so it was an ironic coincidence that Ryoga was starting her search for Ranma in the right direction.

Elsewhere Ranma was having his own problems. Ranma soon discovered the place he thought of as safe was the teachers lounge… it could have been worse, some one could have accidently spilled a steaming cup of hot coffee on him in the girls locker room. Although Ranma was sure the teachers were a little more understanding than a room full of paranoid teenage girls, he still felt ashamed of the situation. Especially when they were generous to provide him with a school uniform…it was a size too small, and it belonged to a former student named Taiga Kuzumi who transferred to an elite academy just up the street. The strange thing was the principal and the teachers didn't seem surprised by Ranma's curse, what Ranma didn't know was many of the teachers had substituted at the nearby Seinagi academy… perhaps it would be a good idea to have Ranma transferred.

\/p


	5. Chapter 5

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 5**

_By Gabriel's Thoughts_

It was 1:45 in the afternoon. Ranma was able to enjoy the last 15 minutes of lunch period at Kolkoz High, after spending an exhausting 45 minutes in the teachers lounge explaining the nature of his curse. Ranma was relieved to have a moment to himself. The wandering eyes of the fellow students followed ranma like a hawk. Hushed whispers could be heard as Ranma passed . Ranma was curious, he knew that he was the new kid on the block, but even he shouldn't be attracting this much attention. There was an eerie silence, Ranma could hear the steady footfall of his feet hitting the ground as he walked. 

It was then, out ot the corner of his eye, he noticed the reflection of a cloaked figure…a very short cloaked figure with a bandanna around her neck and a pair of goggles on her forehead. Ranma turned around to face his new shadow. 

"Don't you got nothing better to do?" Ranma asked forcefully

"Tell me, Where might I find a road to Kyoto ." the young girl asked. 

Ranma glanced at the girls map. "Um…this is a map of Australia "

"well yeah, that's where Kyoto is." the girl argued her point

"No…I'm pretty sure Kyoto's in Japan." Ranma told her the truth.

"then where the hell am I now?" the girl puzzled

"You're in Japan, you stupid brat." Ranma insulted

"Wait a second…are you?" the girl could shoot her self right now "RANMA SAOTOME PREPARE TO DIE!" For anyone else the distance between the Nermia district and the Seinagi district would have taken several hours, by car. Yet somehow Ryoga had been able to cross the distance in a manner of 45 minutes…heading in the wrong direction. It seems the wandering martial artist and Ranma were fated to meet on this day. It also seems Ryoga was fated to fight dirty as one kick to the groin floored Ranma instantly. "THAT WAS FOR STEELING MY LUNCH!"

"who?" Ranma squeaked out in pain as he looked up into the face of evil…

"How dare you fein ignorance, (in French) you pig! " Ryoga steamed

"um…d-did my dad steal your family's okonomiyaki kart or something?" Ranma asked, at this point the was grasping at straws and that was the first thing that came to mind…that and the realization that Ukyo was a girl. Oh god…his father kidnapped Ukyo and left her along the side of the road. 

"UKYO?" Ranma asked. 

"Uh, Ranma. Do you know this kid?" Tenchi asked, having just arrived at the scene. Ranma managed to get to his feet, as the pain subsided momentarily 

"uhhhh!" Ranma's head hurt.

"you- you mean you don't remember?" Ryoga half stated this in the form of a question. 

"um…" Ranma then realized who the girl reminded him of, some one blonde, who was a bit of an air head. Ranma snapped his fingers " Aha, Usagi! Usagi Tsukino am I right?… how you been? you haven't aged a day!

Ryoga Growled "MY NAME IS NOT USAGI. It's Ryoga, Ryoga Hibiki!"

"oh…yeah." Ranma's mind drew an immediate blank. I mean he knew of a Ryoga Hibiki, but Ryoga was a boy. Ranma looked at his opponent to make sure his initial assesmant was correct. Yep, that's a girl all right. Even with the short tomboyish haircut, there was no mistaking her childlike feminine figure.

"You went and broke a man to man promise, you bastard! And then, you ran off to china with your father!" Ryoga was steamed.

"oh god, you aren't another fiancé my perverted father set me up with are you?" Ranma momentarily wondered how his father managed to avoid getting arrested for such moral indecency. 

" Est tu es completement fou, this is about revenge!" Ryoga snapped.

"I'm sorry little girl. I don't speak Spanish, would you mind repeating that?" Ranma was starting to remember something relating to the name Hibiki, but it wasn't the girl standing before him.

"Don't play dumb with me, I'm going to destroy your happiness!" said the little girl. 

"My happiness?" Ranma was puzzled, he turned to Tenchi. "Say Tenchi, am I happy?"

"what are you asking me for, I only met you two days ago." Tenchi then thought of something . "For all I know she's your sister, and your father had an affair with a French maid." 

POW! Ryoga-chan hit Tenchi so hard it was an instant knock out. "Enough stalling Ranma let's fight!"

"aha!" Ranma remembered something.

Ryoga rushed toward Ranma with a flying kick, after using Tenchi's head as a spring board. "HIYAAAAAAA!" Ryoga said , before Ranma grabbed her leg in mid flight and spun her harmlessly to the ground. Ryoga's pride was insulted and now Ranma had humiliated her… again. 

"Hey Usagi, wait right here a minute 'kay." Ranma ran off

"I AM NOT USAGI! Come back here you coward!" Ryoga yelled 

"Just wait there. Okay." Rnama then ran left the school grounds. Ryoga chased after Ranma , but went in the opposite direction when Ranma rounded a corner. Despite this Ryoga manage to track Ranma to a clearing in a woodland area exactly one block from Ranma's actual location .

"Saotome, you coward! Show yourself." Those were Ryoga's last words before a strange bird flew out of the bushes… it was as if the bird faded in and out of reality as it approached. But the most interesting feature of the bird were its eyes. They were so…hypnotic. Ryoga's mind wandered briefly before it was at peace. 

Ranma left the school grounds and he would have come back immediately if he hadn't slipped on a banana peel and fell head long into a mud puddle along the side of the road. After transforming. Ranma shook as much water and filth out of his fur as he could once he escaped from his new school uniform. Ranma then cursed his foul Luck as a car drove by and splashed him with more dirty water. Ranma had no Idea how long it had been since he had left the school grounds, but he knew it had been some time since he left. School had probably ended by now. Ranma- ohki was wandering aimlessly outside a mansion on third street when he momentarily wondered how he was going to get back to the record store … and then there was a poof and Ranma vanished. 

Elsewhere Sasami had just returned home from school… 

"that will be 3000yen." Mihoshi was at the counter of the record store ringing up yet another customer.

"Thank you, come again" said Kiyone, as another customer had finished their transaction.

"Thank you very much" Said Mihoshi as she finished her transaction.

Sasami entered and thanked a customer that was just leaving and approached the counter. 

"you're home!" Kiyone was happy to see Sasami was safe

"Hi Sasami!" chirped Mihoshi

"Hello Kiyone, hello Mihoshi" replied Sasami

"Have Ranma and Tenchi come home from school?" 

"No, not yet." replied Kiyone

"Sasami is that you?" Chihiro asked as she entered the store from the back office.

"Yep, I'm home!" Sasami cheered.

"Um, sasami. I need you to do a favor for me." Chihiro stated

"What is it?" Sasami asked.

"You know that Huge mansion on third street?" Chiro asked as Sasami nodded. "I need you to take this CD to that house right now, OK."

"Okay. But why don't you take it?" Sasami wondered aloud.

"Are you kidding? that place gives me the creeps!" Chihiro shivered 

"groan Do I have too?" Sasami whined. " Why can't Mr. Saotome do it?"

"I wouldn't want to impose on our guests. By the way where is Tenchi anyway?" Chihiro asked.

"How the heck should I know, he could've been abducted by aliens for all I care.

Ironically at was at this moment that Tenchi was in a life and death struggle with the blood thirsty demon Ryoko. Who was in reality a space alien that had been imprisoned on earth 700 years ago…go figure.

A loud explosion from outside could be heard within the record store.

"Hmm. I wonder what that was?" Chihiro asked no one in particular. As Sasami rushed off to the mansion. 

Sasami arrived at the mansion, and she was less than thrilled to be there.. Knock, knock, knock, she rapped on the door "Hello? Delivery. I have a CD for you. Anybody there?" Knock, knock, knock. Sasami banged on the door again. "nobody's here." 

Sasami then leaned against the door and fell into the abandoned mansion. Looking around she could see that cobwebs and dust bunnies had formed a nudist colony for ghosts and goblins. It was at that moment a ghost appeared at the top of the flight of stairs leading to the second story.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Sasami wanted to scream and run away, but an invisible force was preventing her from moving or speaking. 

"You must be Sasami, am I right?" the ghost asked.

"h-how did you know my name?" Sasami asked having regained control of her vocal cords as the ghost slowly floated down the steps.

"My name is Tsunami, I'm the Queen of the magic Kingdom." the ghost replied, while simultaneously dismissing Sasami's question entirely.

"It's n-nice to meet you Tsunami." Sasami replied

"I've been looking for you for a long time Sasami" Tsunami said.

"Wait a minute, I may be just a Kid, but even I know Magic is bogus… except for curses." Sasami was of course referring to the Saotome's. It was then with a wave of her palm Tsunami magically whisked the CD out of Sasami's hand, tore open the packaging and started playing the Eminem CD.

Tsunami smiled, "Isn't Vanilla Ice the greatest" she said.

"that's Eminem." Sasami corrected 

"whoops, My bad." she then looked at Sasami "I've come to scout you as a magical girl Sasami, I believe you have the special capabilities necessary to do the job."

"Scout Me?" Sassami asked the emotionless robot that was Tsunami.

"as a magical girl, it will be your duty to make this world a happier place. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Tsunami asked.

"No, that sound's like work." Sasami deadpanned… if she wanted to help people she could get a job as a candy striper at the local hospital. 

Tsunami then waved her and and ranma appeared…or what was left of him.

"Hello Sasami!" Ranma Ohki seemed cheerful, but it didn't really seem like Ranma "I'm Ryo-Ohki and I'm going to be your partner."

"What have you done to Ranma?" Sasami cried.

"What do you mean Sasami?" Tsunami had no idea what had made Sasami so upset.

"W-what have you done to Ranma? Is this magic also?" Sasami backed away from the crazy witch. 

"There's no need to be frightened, you are able to use magic as well."

"B-but what about Ranma?" 

"Who's Ranma?" Ryo-Ohki puzzled.

Sasami then grabbed Ranma "Change him back! I want him the way he was before."

" I don't understand. " Tsunami really didn't understand, it had been a stroke of luck that Ryo-Oki had shown up at all. Once she removed the curse, all those painful childhood memories, and called forth Ryo-ohki's original memories, all that was left of Ranma was… pretty much nothing. 

"What did you do to him? Change him Back!

"Oh My!" Tsunami had come to the startling realization that she might have done something very bad. "I'm afraid I can't do that Sasami, I can restore some of his old memories. But, he would never be the same."

"You're a monster!" Sasami yelled at the Neo Queen of Juraihelm 

"Hey!" Ryo-Ohki shouted as Sasami clutched Ranma tightly and rushed out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Cabbit's Cronicle**

_**Chapter6**_

_By Gabriel R. Lopez_

Wow, that French girl popped him good, Tenchi awoke in the school soccer field, abandoned by his fellow classmates… maybe punching Sauske into those lockers before lunch wasn't such a good idea, as even his best friend seemed to have abandoned him. Tenchi missed his father, even if he was a pervert. Tenchi thought maybe he should just live at his grandfather's shrine, but then who would look after Sasami, Chihiro was more immature than she was, and Tenchi knew subconsciously that Sasami needed him. Besides someone had to protect the girls from Ranma and his father…Tenchi silently laughed to himself.

"I've got to get a grip." Tenchi sighed as he looked up into the afternoon sky. It was then he heard a jingle. Not a song, but the jingling of bells.

"WHa-?" Tenchi checked his watch, the school day had ended already. "Oh great, I missed my classes and everyone's gone." At least it was still the afternoon, he could imagine how much creepier the school would have been at night. Tenchi heard the jingle jangle sound again. Turning around he identified the soucre as a black cat.

"Meow" the cat whined.

"hey kitty, are you lost or something?"

"meow" the cat chirped as she rushed up to Tenchi…and vanished. 

"huh?" Tenchi rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Then Tenchi heard the jingle sound again. Then an evil laugh cackled from behind him. Tenchi turned around to see a woman with Cyan hair sitting among the bleachers.

"huh?" Tenchi was curious

She twirled the bell around her right index finger and said… "Ryoko" then she tossed the bell at Tenchi.

"huh?" it had become apparent that Tenchi was a man of few words.

"That's my name." The figure replied as her eyes took on an alien glow.

"No- No way!" Tenchi realized immediately what he was dealing with "You- your that demon from the shrine!" 

Red orbs of light formed around Ryoko.

"It was so cold there, and dark… Do you have any idea how long I was trapped in that cave?"

Tenchi shook his head 'no'

"700 years, I was trapped in that cave 700 years and I didn't like it one bit. And, now all I want is revenge!" Ryoko spat .

Tenchi wiped the spit from his eye "hey, what are you blaming me for, it's not my fault."

"really?" Ryoko paused.

"yeah, it was my ancestor, some samurai named Yosho" Tenchi was disturbed.

"I don't care" Ryoko said in a cold demeanor as she gathered all the light of the red orbs into her hand and formed an energy staff. "I'm still going to release all of my anger out on you right now."

Ryoko rushed Tenchi with the energy staff, as Tenchi dodged he momentarily wondered "why me? This isn't fair!" Tenchi dodged several red orbs that exploded on impact. People at several business throughout the area, and those who were within earshot of the explosions, wondered what was causing such a racket.

Ryoko then teleported in front of Tenchi, who ducked as she sliced a light pole in half. Tenchi started running as fast as he could for the student building. Ryoko teleported to his right and calmly floated beside him. "You're going to have to run a lot faster than that to escape me earthling."

Tenchi was then hit with inspiration as he ran toward the destroyed bleachers, and took what appeared to be part of the safety railing and started swinging violently at Ryoko. After two swings Ryoko grabbed onto the railing and threw Tenchi through a glass window into the student building. Tenchi groaned, and momentarily wondered if this is what ranma felt like after the beating he got this morning. Tenchi then struggled to his feet. Immediately after this Ryoko started bombarding Tenchi with energy blasts. They all just barely missed Tenchi. "Hey, boy. Try not to hurt yourself. I'd hate to ruin my new toy." 

'evil #itch!' Tenchi thought as he ran down a flight of stairs and rushed into the home economics/ Physics lab that Washu Sensei taught. How a twelve year old managed to teach Physics, let alone Home economics wasn't the surprise…no the surprise inside was the assortment of anti-alien weaponry that she trained the students to use in case of an invasion by extra terrestrials. 

Unfortunately , since Tenchi had neither taken home economics, or physics it came as no surprise to find the room was a normal physics lab. Damn Sauske and his lies. Tenchi peeked out of the room to see Ryoko's shadow in the hall. He immediately crawled back into the Physics lab and slid the door closed… 

If he stayed silent, there was no way Ryoko could find him.

Unfortunately, he was immediately assaulted by two robots with crablike hair. 

"Is Washu-san working late again?" said the one on the left.

" Washu-san is the greatest!" said the other one to the right.

"Shh!" said Tenchi in a hushed whisper.

"wait a second…"said one.

"…you're not Washu! " Said the other.

"who are you?" said the first.

" Mother F#$KER!" said Tenchi, as he immediately regretted his decision to hide himself in the physics lab.

"Hello Mother F#$ker." said one.

"My name is A$#2LE." said the other.

"and I'm $#ithead." said the first. 

"Oh god. " Tenchi moaned, he was going to die. It was then he saw Ryoko's shadow outside the room, Tenchi did his best to muffle the robots as ryoko passed. After Ryoko had left, and Tenchi was sure it was safe he released Washu's robots. "Whew, I'll just hide here until I figure out a plan."

"Don't worry, we have a plan" said A$#2LE.

"A plan for what A$#2LE?" Tenchi asked. It couldn't be for escaping Ryoko. 

"to destroy the evidence. Of course. " Replied $#ithead.

"What evidence?" Tenchi asked, when he noticed the mutilated body of Vice Principal Kagato laying on the teachers desk. the words 'murderer,' 'pedophile,' and 'baby killer' were written on the walls with his blood. 

"it was the only logical choice" Said S#ithead.

"Our master could never be free otherwise." said A$#2LE

"So we took maters into our own hands." said S#ithead.

"oh my god…" Tenchi was horrified. It was then that Tenchi smelled the gas fumes. " Oh man, I've got to get out of here."

"I'm afraid we can't let you do that Mother F#$ker." Said A$#2LE.

"You know too much." Said $#ithead. 

"Fear not Mother F#$ker, your death will be-" Tenchi kicked A$#2LE across the room and raced out into the hall. He'd rather take his chances with Ryoko… once Tenchi was sure he had lost the robots from hell. He realized as long as he was in the school he was trapped. Oh well if he was going to die anyway he may as well die with his Attaché case, so they could identify his body. After retrieving his book bag Tenchi was thirty yards from the exit. By now the entire school was flooded with gas and tenchi was finding it harder and harder to breathe and concentrate.

"Oh Tenchi." Ryoko cried out seductively. Tenchi turned to see Ryoko partially phase shifted through the wall… or maybe it was the gas causing him to hallucinate. 

Unless, 'she can walk through walls too?' Tenchi thought . He Backed against the opposite wall, as out of the corner of his eye he noticed S#ithead carrying a chainsaw. "AHHH!" 'where the heck did it get a chainsaw?.' 

"You shouldn't have told anyone Ten…chi, Now we'll have to kill her as well" Said S#ithead as she rushed Ryoko. 

"what the ?" Ryoko cried as her right arm was sliced off by the chainsaw wielding robot. After throwing the robot to the ground and drop kicking it against the wall, Ryoko re-attached her arm. 

"huh?" Tenchi was shocked, how could Ryoko just re attach her arm like that?

":Tenchi look out!" Cried Ryoko as Tenchi was assaulted by A$#2LE 

"Hello Mother F#$ker!" Said A$#2LE, as the robot rushed at Tenchi. Tenchi dodged as Ryoko let loose an energy blast that destroyed the robot …just not well enough.

"Designation Ryoko, PRIORITY ONE EXTERRRRRMINATE." A$#2le's head then exploded . 

"EXTERMINATE RYOKO, CONFIRM." Said S#ithead.

Tenchi used the distraction to escape, Ryoko had her own problems to deal with…But, if she was evil, why would Ryoko try to save him? Tenchi wondered this as he finally escaped the confines of the school as it exploded. Tenchi was blown across the schoolyard.

"HEY! You don't just abandon a lady in trouble!" Cried Ryoko, as Tenchi decided now was as good a time as any to make his way home as quickly as possible. Ryoko teleported in front of Tenchi. "where you going Tenchi? I don't want to hurt you…that much." Ryoko once again summoned her energy staff Tenchi raised his attaché case to protect himself. His eys closed, he didn't notice the glow coming from the bag.

'This is it' tenchi thought. He was going to die, and Sasami was going to be married to that jerk Ranma. Fortunately for Tenchi, $#ithead's burning metal body chose that moment to pull itself out of the rubble. Ryoko turned around to face the demonically possessed robot. When Tenchi realized he hadn't died, he opened his eyes to find a blinding explosion of light as his satchel was destroyed by the hilt of his grandfather Yosho's sword…. 

"PRIORITY ONE, DESTROY RYOKO, PRIORITY TWO DESTROY TEN…CHI, PRIORITY THREE EXTERMNINATE ALL PERVERTS." said $#ithead , as she powered up an energy discharge that made Ryoko's energy blasts look like a weak explosives. 

Somewhere else in Japan Nabiki was wondering what Washu sensei intended to do with all those brain scans she had taken of Akane while she was teaching home economics at Furinken High school. Akane had kissed Washu's booty so much it was a wonder she gave Akane an 'F.' Oh well, it isn't like she could use them to make death machines or anything. Nabiki continued her financial calculations until she felt an earthquake that shook all of Japan. 

Tenchi wasn't sure why he did it, but using instinct, or was it genetic memory he grabbed Yosho's Sword and rushed to protect Ryoko. An energy field kept the explosion from destroying the space pirate and her frazzled companion.

"impressive" Ryoko commented . As S#ithead approached the two living targets. Tenchi couldn't take it anymore. One way or the other this $#ithead was going down. $#ithead summoned an energy staff that was three times as powerful as Ryoko's, and attacked Tenchi. It never made contact, a blade of pure blue energy escaped Yosho's …Light Saber ? It felt like the sword had a mind of its own as Tenchi battled the dwarf sized robot. Then, like a beast of legend, the robot's head was sliced clean off with a sickening snap. The robot destroyed, Tenchi turned around to face his other opponent. Ryoko was gone and the sun was beginning to set. 

Tenchi sighed. At least the day couldn't get any worse. 


	7. Chapter 7

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 7**

_By Gabriel's Thoughts._

Sasami ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Ranma…or Ryo-Ohki wasn't quite sure of what to make of the situation. Sasami was scared, that much was obvious, what Ryo-Ohki wanted to know was what Tsunami had done to make her so frightened. Sasami continued running, carrying Ranma-Ohki as safely as she would a pair of scissors under the same circumstances. Eventually, Sasami had to stop running to catch her breath and entered an abandoned lot… this proved to be a mistake, as she was immediately surrounded on all sides by a mechanical barbed wire fence rising from the ground , which effectively caged the frightened girl.

"No no Mon Aime, we haven't been properly introduced." The figure of a young girl, holding a frilly pink umbrella and a Chinese fan seemed to have appeared from nowhere. The girl was wearing a little black dress with a matching headband. The headband itself had a long feather tucked in at an angle.

"yes we have, you're Ryoga Hibiki, we met a few weeks ago when you were looking for the Tendo Dojo." 

"you have mistaken me for someone else." the femme fatale closed her fan. "I am Pixy Misa. I was sent to destroy you."

"Come again" Sasami asked, as she wasn't quite sure she heard correctly. It was kind of weird to hear someone threaten your life. Especially if you hadn't don anything to provoke such an attack. 

"You were chosen to be Tsunami's analog in this dimension, were you not?" Misa asked. "I was sent here to destroy you."

"I didn't choose anything!" Sasami cried "You can't kill me just because some psychotic ghost decided she wanted me to be her magical girl."

"you have no choice in the matter I will destroy you" Misa opened her pink umbrella and with a flick of her wrist, it floated upright and true as it headed for Sasami. Sasami dropped Ranma and backed out of the way of the umbrella as it boomeranged back to Misa. Misa grabbed the umbrella by the handle, jumped in the air , and with a forward motion brought the tip of the umbrella down upon Sasami, who dodged the attack by a hair. As the umbrella impacted the ground it formed a small crater which radiated out and caused Sasami to fall gracelessly on her butt. 

"Sasami Catch!" cried Ranma-Ohki as he jumped into the air, managed a sideways flip and then…a pink club with a heart on the end appeared as if by magic. It was pretty stupid looking, but a club was better than nothing. Sasami grabbed it narrowly avoiding another attack from Pixy Misa. With a sideways roll Sasami blocked an atttack from Misa and her umbrella, using both hands and the club to guard. 

"Hurry Sasami call out Pretty Mutation Magical Recall!" shouted Ryo-Ohki. Sasami wasn't seriously considering it until a swipe from the umbrella caused several of the barbed wires to snap, which created an opening in the cage. Had Sasami's back not been to it, she could have taken the opportunity to escape. Misa would not give her that opportunity again.

"Pretty Princess Magical Mutation!" to say Sasami was disappointed when nothing happened was an understatement . 

"Pretty Mutation Magical Recall not Pretty Princess Magical Mutation" Ryo-Ohki corrected. As Sasami used her club to block yet another of Misa's attacks. It was a good thing her father had taught her and Tenchi Anything goes martial arts, or the fight between her and Pixy Misa would have been a lot shorter even if it was still one sided. Pixy Misa was strong, almost as strong as Tenchi, and Misa was slowly wearing her [sasami down.

After a sweeping kick, Sasami had finally knocked Misa over and took the opportunity to transform. "Pretty Mutation Magical Recall" there was a sparkling transformation and in an instant…or ten seconds, depending on which clock you use. Sasami had transformed into Pretty Sammy. She now had lilies in her hair and was wearing a pink Chinese silk top with a white mini skirt… the outfit was awful. And, adding insult to injury, Misa used the oportunity to knock her flat on her face with a swift kick to the derrière. 

"Way to go Sasami!" Ryo-Ohki cheered. If Sasami didn't know better she would have though it a sarcastic remark. And then Sasami realised, Ryo-Ohki thought he was helping Sasami by telling her how to defeat Pixy Misa. "Ok Sasami, use your enhanced strength. look out Sasami she's going to get you. Ok, Duck Sasami. Ooh ! Roundhouse, good move Sas-chan" Ryo-Ohki was practically next to useless. Sasami somehow suspected Ranma was a better tactician than Ryo-Ohki. Ranma probably also knew better than to distract some one in a life or death struggle.

"yo! Ryo- Ohki, don't I have any special powers?" Cried Sasami

"uh… no. You actually used all your magic transforming into Pretty Sammy."

"what!" Sasami stopped fighting long enough to whine at Ryo-Ohki "that's not fair!"

"well you should have let Tsunami share her powers with you." Ryo-Ohki moved out of the way as Sasami jumped and avoided another attack from Pixy Misa.

"then… how" Sasami dodged an attack "the heck am I supposed" Sasami dodged another attack and rolled "supposed defeat Pixy Misa"

"You're a lot stronger as Pretty Sammy. Use that to your advantage." Ryo-Ohki smiled…at least Sasami thought he was smiling, poor Ranma. Sasami was completely on the defensive and had been since her fight with pixy misa had begun. Sasami had also resined herself to the fact that Pixy Misa moved like a steamroller, what she seemed to lack in balance she made up for with raw strength…also, every now and again it seemed Misa would get lost if Sasami faked moving in one direction and moved past Misa in another. Sasami then noticed the gaping hole in the barbed wire fence just behind her.

The tumblers of logic in Sasami's brain started forming a plan…but could it work. "Look, fireworks!" Sasami pointed behind Pixy Misa in an attenpt to be cunning. Unfortunately, the only thing in the direction she was pointing too was Tenchi's school…and while it was true that Misa stopped to look, it was the almost atomic explosion that followed that was an unexpected bonus. The shockwave rolled throughout the city busting glass, setting off car alarms, and caused an earthquake that shook the two combatants off their feet.

Misa, was both scared and in shock "d-did you do that? Is this your power?"

"uh…sure" anything to get out of being killed or destroyed…which as far as Sasami was concerned was the same thing.

"You have three days to learn how to harness your powers. You will return in this location in three days, Prepare for your destruction." Said Misa, as the fence collapsed itself into the ground and Misa jumped backwards onto the roof of a moving vehicle (with busted windows) that drove off into the sunset.

"c'mon Sasami, let's train hard. So we can defeat her next time." Cheered Ryo-Ohki

Sasami then swatted Ryo-Ohki over the head. She didn't care if it was Ranma. " Are you insane? I look like I was mugged, I have a black eye, and I hurt all over. Who trains in that condition?"

Ryo-Ohki subconsciously agreed , but momentarily wondered why he thought it would be okay for her to train before recovering. 

"besides, it sunset already. I'm going home."

A/n: WARNING SPOILER ALERT READ NO FURTHER IF YOU ACTUALLY WISH TO ENJOY THE SURPRISES IN STORE.

1)Ranma, will get his memories back, and find a way to unlock his form. DUH! I was planing on combining the xi fang xiao story with a curse lock story. Your impatience surprises, especially concidering the fact that I've been updateing every day this week, and felt I should establish the characters this time instead of blindly rushing through as I did with a Twisted Tale of Ranma. I can see this was a mistake, and will correct this in future updates. Also, the Pretty sammy Ryo-Ohki has a human form that looks kinda like an human sized elf, for those who are curious. 

2) The primary villians of this peice will be the Golden Pair, Chip Standard, Pixy Misa/Ryoga, a wildcard Tenchi villian, Saffron, Sasami, and Ramia 

3)This story will conclude once Ramia is defeated. again I stress the word DUH!


	8. Chapter 8

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 8**

By Gabriel's Thoughts

Somewhere in a woodland area five miles north of the Seinagi district, approximately three feet from where he lost consciousness. Ryoga Hibiki wakes. Night had fallen and Ryoga was suffering from the sudden onset of muscle soreness. Ryoga felt as if his body had been stretched in ways it shouldn't have. As he sat up his hand reached out and grabbed his umbrella to pull himself up. This was unusual, as he had lost his umbrella and all of his possessions at Jusenkyo. Upon closer inspection he discovered it wasn't his umbrella. It looked to be of the same color and design, but it wasn't. His Umbrella was made of bamboo. This one was lighter and appeared to be made of some form of titanium. Ryoga momentarily wondered how he knew it was titanium when he heard a voice.

"Concider it a gift" Ryoga-Kun rushed to his feet and took on a fighting stance. There was a woman standing in the pale moon light. Her hair was a ruby red, her eyes were catlike and yellow. A silver tiara with a blue or green gem set upon her head. Robes of green/ purple and white adorned her body. On her shoulder sat an eagle … Ryoga couldn't really tell if the eagle was green or purple itself, because he was partially colorblind.

"I'm Ramia, a princess of the magical kingdom Juriahelm." the mysterious figure stated

"what do you want from me?" Ryoga asked cautiously. There was a kind foreboding sense of evil emanating from this woman. Ryoga didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit. He immediately didn't trust her.

"You should be thanking me, I've restored your body and you are no longer cursed." This was partially true, Ramia hadn't truly removed Ryoga's curse, she had merely changed its form.

"Why would you do that for me?" Ryoga asked as he backed away, her very presence seemed to taint him and fill him with darkness. Ryoga wasn't sure which curse she had removed, he still looked like a little boy, he still couldn't tell north from south, and he still felt that tingling sensation that accompanied the Jusenkyo curse. Although the tingling sensation was more or less related to water in general.

"You wound me" crocodile tears welled up in Ramia's eyes "Is it so hard to believe that a good Samaritan would help you expecting nothing in return." Ramia continued crying as the eagle flew to a nearby tree to roost. Ryoga, an all around Mr. Nice-Guy, feared he had misjudged the poor defenseless magical princess of Jurihelm.

"Don't cry, I'm sorry." Ryoga hugged Ramia, Unaware of the evil grin that crossed her face the moment it was out of view.

Elsewhere …

Ryo- Ohki was a quivering mass of fear. Rather, Ryo-Ohki would be quivering if the cabbit wasn't completely paralyzed. Ryo-Ohki's kidnapper was a nearsighted Chinese youth, wearing an oversized white robe with a diamond pattern. A smirk crossed the kidnappers face as he started sharpening a kitchen knife. Next to the incapacitated Ryo-Ohki was a box of Stove top stuffing, a carton of sour cream, a package instant ramen, mushrooms, onions and carrots. Ryo-Ohki wasn't sure, but he suspected he was in some kind of danger… If Ryo-Ohki remembered being Ranma, he would have known exactly who this boy was, and above all what he could do. Sadly, Ryo-Oki was laying on his side unable to move anything but his eyes and was finding it hard to breathe.

Ranma would have recognized the youth as Mu Tsu, one of the few male amazons native to a region of China located near a series of cursed springs known as Jusenkeyo. Ryo-Ohki didn't know this, all the confused Cabbit really knew was under the current circumstances there was a chance he was going to die.

"You can talk you know, the shiatsu points I used only incapacitates your ability to use your limbs for a few hours." Mousse finished sharpening the knife and threw it at Ryo-Ohki. The knife landed scant millimeters from Ryo-Ohki's neck.

"P-please don't eat me." Ryo-Oki begged.


	9. Chapter 9

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 9**

_By GabrielsThoughts_

Sasami ran home as fast as her legs could take her. Sasami had never been out past sunset, at least not this far from home. She had missed the downtown bus not once but twice. When she first missed the bus it was because she arrived at the stop as the bus was leaving. The second was the result of her impatience, after waiting what seemed an eternity, Sasami believed she could have walked home in the time it took for the bus to arrive. Almost as soon as she started walking the bus passed the stop sign without hesitation or a second glance.

Ranma, or Ryo-Ohki, had fallen asleep in her arms. Apparently, all the hopping around, explaining her duties as a Magical Girl, and stating the obvious had worn the little cabbit out. Sadly, having the intelligence of a six year old, Ryo-Ohki was really getting on her nerves. It was with both a relief and displeasure that Sasami hefted the unconscious cabbit down the street.

After an hour the now lost Sasami cursed her luck when her fluffy companion started getting heavy…but the thing that was really bothering her as the darkness closed around her, was that the crickets had stopped chirping. It was an unnatural silence that, for lack of better description, was creepy. Sasami swallowed loudly when she heard the echo of her footsteps fall closer…she stopped. The echo mimicked her movement as she continued toward what she hoped would be familiar surroundings. The streets looked different at night. Sasami could hear herself breathing, her heart was racing.

It was a crisp autumn night, Sasami began to wish she had taken a sweater with her before she left. Behind Sasami, cloaked by darkness, a hand reaches out from the shadows and lightly taps Sasami on the back of her neck between her neck and left shoulder blade. A special shiatsu point that could be used to terrify little girls…

"EEEEEEEP!" Sasami almost dropped Ryo-Ohki and immediately turned to face her attacker. "Tenchi!" Sasami was elated and rushed to hug him with Ryo-Ohki safely cradled in one arm.

"what are you doing out here?" Tenchi asked.

"m-mom sent me out to deliver an Eminem CD… and the customer she" sob "brainwashed Ranma. And, then I was beat up on by an evil magical girl called pixy misa… missed the bus and (sob) I got (choke) lost."

"Mom did what?" to say Tenchi was upset was an understatement. Tenchi felt fortunate to have found Sasami at all. If he hadn't shown up there was no telling would have happened to her, she could have been assaulted by some random China man or… "Wait, Ranma was brainwashed?"

Sasami nodded as a guilty expression fell across her face. She clutched the unconscious cabbit as tears streamed down her face. If only she hadn't run away from Tsunami…a list of maybes crossed through Sasami's mind. Maybe Tsunami could have fixed Ranma, maybe Ranma was happier this way…maybe… maybe Ranma was really dead, maybe, maybe, maybe Ranma was happier this way. Maybe if she hadn't told her father how much she hated him he wouldn't have went on an alcoholic binge and killed Misao in that motorcycle accident.

"its all my fault." Sasami squeaked. Maybe she should just walk in front of a train at the subway station.

Tenchi held Sasami as she cried in his arms.

Deep in the subconscious of what was once Ranma Saotome, Ryo-Ohki had to deal with Ranma's personal demons…literally. Tsunami had really botched the job up on this one…when she removed all but Ranma's happiest memories. Which ,ironically enough, all occurred before Genma took Ranma on a journey to make his son the greatest martial arts master of all time.

Contrary to popular belief, the mental acuity of two individuals occupying the same space does not equal sixteen years of experience if one is mentally six and the other is mentally ten…Ryo-Ohki's personality easily dominated the other when they fused at the cost of his maturity. With his memories restored, Ryo-Ohki made sure he would let Tsunami know what he felt about his new feline body… something about his new anatomy felt wrong , and it wasn't the big floppy ears.

Not all of Ranma's unhappy memories had been erased, Tsunami had missed one or two. You couldn't blame her, after all who would think one's first kiss a bad thing. If one were to go through sixteen years of childhood memories, you would find a rats nest of connections, and it was far easier to remove whole clusters of memory than look at individual memories. This also caused a problem for Ryo-Ohki since he wasn't ready, or mentally equipped to deal with an enemy more violent than a rabid gerbil… Nor was he mentally able to cope with Ranma's vivid childhood imagination.

Somehow, Ranma's memories of being strapped to a spit over an open flame, completely helpless, with an sour apple in his mouth , while having his hair removed in the slowest and most painful way possible had missed Tsunami's elaborate screening process…but hey, at least the neo cabbit will always remember his first kiss.

Thankfully, or not, a panda showed up with the intention of stealing some food from the male Amazon…the whole fiasco did not end well for Ranma…or Ryo-Ohki. Once the thieving panda realized the rabbit was raw, and recognized its distinctly feline features it wasn't long before it wound up at the veterinarians office, where he recovered in the luxury of a steel cage, and was forced to eat cardboard crunchies disguised as cat food… unfortunately the events depicted in this paragraph was part of a particularly unhappy cluster of memories associated with the word cat and were deleted.

And so it was, Ryo-Ohki was now slowly being cooked alive on a spit with no hope of escape…Ryo Ohki was certain he was going to die as he felt the rope tighten around his chest.

In the real world, Tenchi clutched Ryo-Ohki tightly, with a little less care than Sasami would have, as the two approached the record store. Then like a bolt of lighting Ryo-Ohki snapped awake. Completely terrified the cabbit dug his claws into Tenchi and started shaking like a leaf. Sasami was surprised by the look of terror in Ran…Ryo-Ohki's eyes.

"S-sasami?" he then turned his head to look up at Tenchi…'who is this?' Ryo-Ohki hit a mental road block.

"what's wrong Ranma?" Tenchi asked.

There was that name again…am I Ranma? The terrified and confused cabbit looked back at Sasami who pried the him loose from Tenchi's arm.

"This is Tenchi, my brother." replied Sasami

"what's wrong with him?" Tenchi asked. Something about Ranma seemed a little off …something about the eyes.

"you noticed it too. Right?" Sasami was of course referring to his personality, the confidence in Ranma's voice had lost it's bravado.

"they're blue" Tenchi stated.

"huh?" Ryo-Ohki asked

"your eyes are blue. Like your human form."

"I don't understand." Ryo-Ohki was justifiably confused. Ryo- Ohki was worried, this was the second person in as many hours who had identified him as Ranma. He knew Tsunami had turned him into an animal without his consent and sent him to earth a few days ago, but it he also had an additional six years of childhood memories. The image of his first kiss (of death) flashed across him mind…he knew he was sixteen, so six years of additional memories made sense.

After hiding Ranma/Ryo-Ohki from Genma and being grilled for ten minutes Sasami went upstairs with Ryo-Ohki. Tenchi had conveniently omitted information about his adventure, and had somehow convinced their mother he had rescued Sasami from the demon Ryoko…who had followed him from his grandfathers shrine and blew up his school. Chihiro on the other hand did not believe Sasami's story about Tsunami, Pixy misa, and Ranma being brainwashed. Chihiro , didn't believe that Ryoko was a demon, but she knew Tenchi did…and his school did blow up.

Sasami wrapped herself in her comforter as the cool autumn air creeped into the dark shadows of her bedroom . Ryo-Ohki had hidden himself within a fort he had constructed with pillows and teddy bears.

"Sasami…."Ryo-Ohki called from the lonely shadows hidden in a corner of Sasami's room

"yeah" Sasami replied

"C-can I sleep with you tonight?" Ryo-Ohki asked in fear. A fear that a certain near sighted Chinese chef would crawl out of the shadows and eat him.

"sure…on one condition." Sasami stated.

"w-what's that?" Ranma asked, a trebble of fear in his voice.

"promise me you'll never leave me alone." after that evening Ryo-Ohki and Sasami were inseparable. They had become close friends.


	10. Chapter 10

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

**Chapter 10**

By Gabriel R. Lopez

Tsunami was never really good at biology, especially when it game to the distinctions between species that existed on Terra ( a colony in the Jurai empire) and Earth ( a former colony of the Jurihelm empire.) Obviously, when learning the taxonomy of 300 different planets one is bound to goof up eventually. When she was young Tsunami looked very much as Sasami does now. Sadly tsunami was never really good at magic and when it came to turning apples to oranges Tsunami always made lemons or in some cases snakes. Her hair was always a mess, because she was always practicing to get everything just perfect.

Still, being unable to tell the difference between a Cat and a Cabbit was something negligible in the grand scheme of things when you are trying to take over the Jurihelm home world…she had worked really hard to become Queen. After all she was born a common princess, and was the only child of one of the three ruling families on Juraihelm. It was ironic of all the princesses she was the most Qualified to be queen . Roomba was literal a clone of the original queen. Unfortunately, her mother the former queen insisted she be raised by a vacuum cleaner in a fit of insanity. Ramia…well Ramie was just insane, she was evil, abusive, dinosaur brained, and spoiled rotten. Normally, these are considered excellent qualities for a princess, but not for a Queen. Tsunami was the only one of the three candidates that had matured enough to at least seem competent. And , while this wasn't exactly true, in Jurihelm appearances are everything.

Another factor went into the decision of selecting queen, being the last and only male heir to the throne meant that Rumiya would have to impregnate the next generation of the royal bloodline. Naturally, being Ramia's brother this would most likely cause a scandal when he ascended to the throne. So, in the end the only logical choice for queen was Tsunami.

Durring the six years since she had ascended to the throne Tsunami had wondered what had become of poor little Ryo-Ohki, and had just about given up hope of ever finding a magical girl, if she didn't select one soon, the council was likely to put Roomba in charge of Jurihelm. Knowing that if you want a job done, you've got to do it yourself Tsunami threw a dart at a World map of earth. The Dart landed in the heart of Japan. Once on Earth Tsunami heard Gangsta Rap for the first time, and thus became interested in Vanilla Ice, Eminem, and a band called the Squirrel Nut Slackers. The Squirrel Nuts were composed of three adorable chipmunks whose names were Calvin, Mimas, and Agador. And so it was, she met Sasami in the record store. Apparently, little Sammy was the only person in the store who knew where to find The Squirrel Nut Slackers CD, and for good reason. Sasami was a die hard Chiplets fan…she had all of the slackers CD's, LP's, and memorabilia of the sugar-cult-helium-voiced chipmunks cluttering her room.

And so it was, Tsunami returned to Jurihelm, having forgotten to select a magical girl… the council just assumed it was Sasami. Not wanting to look absent minded, she told the council just what they were thinking and then set to work raiding her closet for one of her old school uniforms. Unfortunately, having been picked at random, Sasami had no idea what the hell was going on when she brought the Eminem CD to that mansion on third street.

Meanwhile, Ranma was having problems of his own. A wicked little girl had kicked him in the junk, and then threatened to ruin his happiness. A car had splashed him with dirty water triggering his curse, and after escaping the confinement of his clothing, a follow up vehicle had soaked him again. Ranma- Ohki shook the muddy water out of his fur…

After this he wandered aimlessly for a bit, Ranma was lost as he wondered he seemed to be pulled toward 3rd street. He wasn't sure why, but there seemed to be a ringing in his head as he walked passed a haunted looking mansion. The ringing was very annoying, it felt like ants crawling across your skull while someone started jabbing a fork in your eye, and it would stop only when he was within a meter of the mansion grounds. He had tested this several times. He couldn't get further than a fifteen yards before the ringing caused so much pain and became so unbearable that he was forced to return to the mansion. Ranma Cocked his head as he looked though the iron bars of the mansion fence. Whatever had drawn him to this place wasn't going to let him go… and so it was he squeezed his scrawny rabbit like body through the bars and used his cat like agility to fall flat on his face into yet another a mud puddle.

Of course after shaking the dirty water out of his fur once again Ranma doubled back and took the muddy water as a sign that he shouldn't be here. Once again squeezing though the bars Ranma once again heard the irritating noise that had drawn him there in the first place. Ranma decided to make a break for it. If there was anything Ranma had leaned from his years of training is that after the pain comes the reward, and this was one situation were Ranma figured the reward of freedom is worth more than the consequences of capture.

Unfortunately this ended with Ranma laying in the road in excruciating pain. Grudgingly Ranma returned to the sidewalk outside the mansion. Ranma momentarily wondered how he was going to get back to the record store when there was a poof, and Ranma vanished. Ranma's next sensation was of floating in space, but a more accurate description would be that Ranma felt as if his body was wrapped with a layer of frost covered Jello.

"…" was all he could do or say. Ranma was face to face with the Queen of Juraihelm, her teal colored hair and red eyes reminded him of Sasami.

"Oh RyoOhki, I'm so happy to see you again!" Tsunami squealed.

"who the hell are you!" Ranma hissed, knowing full well that it wasn't Sasami. Sasami smelled like chocolate chip cookies and this woman smelled like witch-hazel and mothballs.

" Bad Kitty Ryo- Ohki, What have I told you about using such foul language in my presence?" Tsunami chided.

"WTF? Lady, let me go." Ranma, had no idea what this crazy woman-

"Gasp, where have you been learning all these bad words?" Tsunami was in shock her ears were ringing as she swat Ranma on the head with a paper fan she summoned from subspace. " Bad kitty."

"Ok seriously, who the heck are you lady?" Ranma was in no mood to play games with the clearly manic and deranged woman.

" It's me silly. Lady Tsunami Queen of Juraihelm. I've come a great distance in order to find you." she then posed dramatically for full effect. "Oh Ryo-Ohki it's so wonderful to see you again"

"Ranma."

"Ranma?"

"My name is Ranma you crazy Bitc-" SMACK. Ranma really should have known better than to argue with someone five times bigger than he is.

"Gasp. I'm going to have to wash your mouth out with soap aren't I?" At Tsunami's suggestion Ranma's eyes bugged out. He remembered a time in his childhood when Genma forced him to eat bars of soap because they were living out of a bath house and were too poor to afford food, even ramen was beyond their means.

Ranma- Ohki quickly waved his paws in a warding action. "I'm sorry, It won't happen again. I sw- Promise!"

"Ryo-Ohki, I'm just so glad that I've found you. Now that I've found a magical girl, I've decided to re-hire you as my magical girl protector. Doesn't that sound fun?" Tsunami giggled

"Um…No way." Ranma deadpanned.

"Squeal I'm so happy that you've come back to me Ryo… wait, did you just refuse my offer?."

"look lady, I appreciate the offer and all, but I'm in high school. I don't have time to be wandering around the countryside with some stupid tomboy kicking the ass of every monster we meet. I'd probably wind up doing all the work and" SMACK Ranma was swatted on the head by Tsunami with and even bigger paper fan this time.

"OW!" Ranma clutched his already bruised head. "You're mean." Between all the blows to his head from the baseball, the broom, the door, the railing, and now the fan it was a wonder Ranma wasn't suffering from amnesia or worse brain damage.

"You know, I can make it so that it would be really easy for you to perform all the tasks of a magical guardian without much thought or action" Tsunami threatened.

"I don't care, I still ain't doing it." Ranma had missed the threat entirely.

"You'll get lots of ice cream!" Tsunami bribed Ranma hoping it wouldn't come to this. She needed a competent Magical guardian. And whether or not Ryo-Ohki wanted to or not he was going to be Sasami's guardian. Right now, Ryo-Ohki was behaving like an animal. She had no problems brainwashing an animal.

"I ain't interested, all right. " Ranma squeaked

"that's too bad. I was hoping we could resolve this without resorting to violence." Tsunami placed the plam of her hand on Ranma-Ohki's forehead head in between his floppy rabbit like ears. There was a spark, and ranma fell unconscious. Without moving her hand she could feel several bruises on his skull, Poor Ryo-Ohki. For him to have been abused so terribly in the six years since she last saw him. Oh well, in less than 15 seconds it was done and Ranma was gone. Ryo-Ohki snapped to attention confused.

"Hey there little one." Tsunami smiled cheerfully as she brushed his cheek with her palm

"Tsunami!" Ryo-Ohki propelled himself though the air toward Tsunami happy as a clam…or at least as happy as a clam that met the walrus and the carpenter. Tsunami hugged little Ryo-Ohki tightly. At that moment there was an insistent knock at the door. Then the voice of a young girl could be heard from outside.

"Hello? Delivery. I have a CD for you." knock knock "Is anybody there?"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma nor any of the Tenchi Muyo franchises...

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

_**Chapter 11**_

_By Gabriel R. Lopez_

Several days had passed since Ranma had lost his memories. And, several weeks had passed since Ryo-Ohki returned to the land of the living. It wasn't that Genma hadn't noticed that his son was locked in his cursed form, or that he hadn't returned to being human since the day Tenchi's school blew up. It's just kind of hard to care about such things when you've been bear napped. See, the morning after the high school's destruction, Tenchi woke up to a find homage to the godfather, when he found the life sized head of a stuffed panda bear covered in cherry syrup (very much looking as if it was swimming in a pool of its own blood) hiding under the bed sheets… to say Tenchi was horrified was an understatement. Ryoko was quite devious, she kidnapped Genma and sold him to a nearby zoo. The reason for this was simply to get past the the Kawaii family's vicious guard panda and send a message to Tenchi. Ryoko then went to the county fair and won the biggest stuffed teddy bear she could find and set up the morning 's events.

"wha"

"Oh Tenchi…" came the sultry voice of Ryoko who appeared from behind the shadows and reached her slender arms across the front of Tenchi's chest "Do you like my gift?"

Tenchi, then leaped ten feet into the air…cause the bed gave him extra spring for his step, and his head crashed into one of the ceilings reinforced 2x4 inch beams. Of course there was a whole lot more to the events that followed, needless to say once Ayeka Takada, The crazy emo stalker girl that wanted to have Tenchi's babies, ( and ironically Tenchi's kissing cousin on his father's side , separated by at least four and one half generations ) saw footage from the spy camera's of Tenchi's indecent morning soiree (swore-raye) with another girl, well she blew a gasket. Ayeka was obsessed or was it upset that Tenchi was after another slim waisted big breasted girls that she was jealous of…which was pretty much anyone that Tenchi spoke with that wasn't her.

Ayeka, ironically enough, was a princess of the Juraian empire, which is not to be confused with the magical kingdom of Juraihelm. Ayeka had come to planet Earth in search of Yosho, a fiancé with whom she had been betrothed at the age of five, to secure peace between the royal families of Jurai. Ayeka was then shipped off to live with her fiancé until she became of age, at which point she would be married and become her husband's first or second wife. This really sucked for Ayeka because a) To a five year old, Yosho was neither handsome or interesting and b) to a five year old Yosho was a ding-dong (talilarilan). Then when Yosho went missing on her thirteenth birthday Ayeka was shipped back to her her parrents. While on the journey back to the Pooka-Tenrei home world Ayeka was kidnapped by space pirates. Her parents then basically ripped into her chest and pulled out her heart when they revealed she was an accident, that they didn't want her anymore, and offered the pirates half the ransom to kill her then and there. Fortunately, she was rescued by Gene Starwind and the crew of the Outlaw Star. Ayeka, with no family, no money, and no where else to go, joined the crew and became a freelance bounty hunter and mercenary. Despite this reality, Ayeka had developed quite a reputation throughout the Juraian Galaxy as a pirate over the years.

But everyone knew that the greatest pirate of all was Ryoko, and whenever Ayeka was mentioned they would always compare the two. Of course as long as Ryoko was dead there as no comparison. Ayeka was the best by default. Still, Ayeka had developed a curiosity about Ryoko, and when she learned that Yosho had disappeared during a final confrontation between him and Ryoko, Ayeka's curiosity got the better of her. Either they both died or one lived. Through investigation, Ayeka learned there was a time displacement window caused by the super massive black hole in the center of earth's galaxy that warped time and space. Yosho had in fact survived a battle between himself and Ryoko 300 years earlier, he later married a Chinese Amazon named Ku-Lon and had two children named Shampoo and Conditioner. Shampoo later moved to Japan and changed her named to Achika and the records were a bit fizzy after that. As Jurians they all had the potential to live thousands of years, it was hard to tell if one descendent was truly a child of the previous generation or if the descedence was a Name change to give the illusion that they had aged had children and died. One thing was certain however, Tenchi was Yosho's grandson, and in her opinion he was freakin' hot… You know if you're into scrawny, whiny , panicky, gerbil types. And, To Ayeka, the bonus was that if she married him, she would become Ruler of the Juraian empire.

Once Ayeka made it to earth she discovered punk emo rock music. She had initially met Tenchi while purchasing the latest Albulms of Skillet, Prozac, Sum 41, Backstreet Boys, and My chemical romance. She soon came to the realization that there was no god and started cutting herself to feel alive…not really but regardless Ayeka had become a dyed in the wool emo- teen. Ayeka viewed playback footage of the hussy in Tenchi's room. Ayeka's eyes went all squinty as she tried to figure out where she knew the cyan haired girl from. Ayeka gasped "RYOKO!" Ayeka then got snake eyes as she plotted her next move


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: ranma and tenchi belong to their respected owners.

**A Cabbit's Chronicle**

_**Chapter 12**_

_By Gabriel R. Lopez_

The lights, the sounds, the experience of entering a barber shop to get a haircut is one of many universal experiences shared by all people of Earth. At a barber shop the sounds vary, there is always more to the experience than what we hear. At fun cuts, one hears the sound of two televisions, as the world turns is on, the rustle of a magazine as a patron examines an article, the buzz of lights in the air-conditioned space, is overshadowed by the sound of an electric hair clippers and scissors. The barber pumps and releases the pressure of the chair, adjusting it to the perfect height. There's the sound of the comb through ones hair, and the shaving brush coated in talcum powder, that wipes away the excess hair. The sound of the hairdryer as it blows against your face, the same hair dryer that falls to the ground because the barber didn't balance it right on the cabinet housing the mirror and all the barbers tools. The barber converses with you, asks you how you want your hair styled, instructs you to move your head as her co-worker sweeps the excess hair away with a broom. This is a true experience one finds at the barber shop, and barring the sounds coming from the freeway intersection outside, One can say with absolute certainty that no one expects the fierce roar of a rabid panda.

Poor Nabiki, the aforementioned panda had recently escaped from the Zoo and burst through the double glass doors of the beauty shop. To say Nabiki's hair was butchered was an understatement. Nabiki had gone to the barber shop with the intention of getting a summer trim. Whatever hair cut Nabiki had intended , letting the barber use electric clippers to thin her hair out in the back had been a huge mistake. The middle Tendo sister would be lucky if the hairdresser was skilled enough to fix the temple to forehead buzz cut, and Nabiki was not paying $200 dollars for something Kasumi, or principal Kuno would do for free. Her more immediate concern was the panda. Nabiki never realized how much she relied on her hair for balance. Fleeing from the elevated chair in terror, Nabiki discovered she was only marginally better on her feet than her sister Akane was in the shallow waters of a kiddy pool. Why did she choose today of all days to wear high heels. To the reader it should come a no surprise that she tripped over the metal hoop of the chair in her escape. Once free of that hindrance Nabiki struggled to her feet, only to discover that her left stiletto heel had snapped. This in combination with the fact that she had twisted her right ankle, left a frightened Nabiki Tendo few options for escape and fewer options of defensive strategy. Not one to be paralyzed with fear, Nabiki picked up the first thing she could get her hands on and threw it at the panda.

In hind sight, throwing a cotton ball at the rabid panda bear was probably not the best idea. Because, the bear stopped chasing after the stylist and was now focused exclusively on her. Even the patron in the background, who had slipped on an Allure magazine and fell to the floor with a dull thud, hadn't distracted the bear from it's wounded prey… Nabiki covered her eyes and cringed in fear. Knowing her fate was sealed the moment the American Stock Market crashed. Nabiki wept. Momentarily regretting her ethical business practices…she hadn't made her first million dollars yet, and she was going to die with a mere half million American dollars in her savings account. When the death blow failed to arrive after a span of three seconds, Nabiki peeked. The panda had apparently stopped it's rampage and was using a marker pen on small whiteboard. The panda flipped the whiteboard and showed it to Nabiki. What was written was an odd mixture of Japanese and Chinese symbols. While the Japanese was mostly chicken scratch, Nabiki could make out 'Ni hao me Shampoo, friend. Hot water need yes' Of course, that which was written being total nonsense, simply confirmed Nabiki's suspicions that the panda was just a dumb animal. Which is why she didn't flinch when the feathered dart imbedded itself into the panda's backside. The panda looked to see the foreign object sticking out of its buttocks in terror wiggling its tail in the process. Quickly, the panda erased the whiteboard with its furry arm and scribbled 'Me shampoo, help now!' then immediately showed it to Nabiki.

Nabiki Picked up the bottle of shampoo laying next to her on the floor and tossed it at the panda who swatted the bottle away with the whiteboard. The panda growled in frustration and was immediately hit with a second dart that landed in her neck. The panda started drooling as it erased the whiteboard and wrote 'Baka!' in Japanese before collapsing to the ground. The guys from animal control entered the barber shop.

"you okay young lady?" asked the zoo keeper, who was closest to Nabiki

"yeah I'm fi…I mean no, oh my ankle, and my neck, oh no, I think I broke one of my ribs. Heavens to Betsy. I- I think I need to call my lawyer." Nabiki momentarily contemplated how much injuries were worth these days, as one of the volunteers whistled in amazement.

"Now that's a big girl!" said the volunteer from save our strays, an organization that specialized mostly in recovering stray cats and dogs. The volunteer was a veterinary assistant that worked at the zoo.

"You think she'd be good for the breeding program?" the zoo keeper asked.

"Can't see why not." replied the assistant.

"Looks like ChingChing's getting a new girlfriend" Both zoo keepers chuckled for a bit.

"I don't get it, what's so funny?" Nabiki asked.

"Missy that hair cut is about the fiunniest thing I seen all day" the zoo keeper replied

Totally horrified Nabiki reached up and felt what was left of her hair.


End file.
